Life Isn’t Fair: What That Means to a Chronically Ill Person

We’ve all heard the phrase “life isn’t fair,” and maybe even said or thought it. Perhaps you’ve whispered it to yourself after failing a test you’ve really studied for, or you didn’t make the team, or didn’t get asked out.

But then there’s the other side of the same phrase, which in my opinion is far too often overlooked. Like when your friend cancels on you three out of the four times you tried to make plans with her this week because she was too sick to go out. So you made plans with your other friends for later that week and skipped inviting her.

And another example: Your sister medically withdraws from school after suffering from intense bouts of depression and anxiety. Her symptoms leave her unable to care for herself much less make it to class. She is devastated, but most of your family think her symptoms are all in her head, so they don’t offer much support. Life’s not fair.

I’m asking you to please be mindful the next time you say to someone who is struggling that life isn’t fair. Those of us with disabilities, chronic illness, and mental health problems know how unfair life is. We understand how it feels to have situations and health crises that are out of our control, no matter how hard we try.

The affliction you live with does not think nor care about how afraid you are to explain to your mother why you can’t complete school. It does not care about how much you wanted to hang out with your friends tonight or that you bought those concert tickets three months ago. Nor does it care if you miss an exam you studied so hard for – the exam you need to pass or you might fail the class.

And the truth is, your loved ones probably don’t think about those feelings either. It isn’t their fault — adults, like children, should be reminded how their words affect someone in physical or mental pain.

But in case they don’t realize the world weighs heavily on your shoulders right now or sometime in the future, I write this to let you know that life is not fair.

Your concerns and fears are valid. You are worthy and deserve to live the life you want.

Life is not always fair, I know you know that. But I also know that you are strong and more powerful than anything life throws at you.

***

Note: Cerebral Palsy News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Cerebral Palsy News Today or its parent company, BioNews Services, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to cerebral palsy.