Wiggle Room — Briana Beaver

Sometimes you find the love you’re looking for in the most unexpected places. This Friday, I found it curbside at my neighborhood café. As the owner of a coffee business, I partner with a local coffee roaster specializing in small-batch, craft coffees. Each week, I deliver the labels for…

In the dimmed hospital room light, I hoist myself into a sitting position. The room swirls momentarily as my brain attempts to find equilibrium. Bending my elbows, the IV catheter stings in my arm. Even in my exasperated state, my heartbeat quickens as I reach for my phone. The connectivity…

It occurred to me recently that I have been writing this column for more than half a year. My mind has been delving into contemplation about what this opportunity has meant to me so far. As a writer, I’ve spent the last decade cataloging my most intimate battles with chronic…

“This pandemic is really working for you,” my mom said, half-jokingly. She nor I never could have imagined that over the course of only weeks, society would rearrange itself into a more Briana-friendly place. The “awkward” social necessities characteristic of my interactions with others have now become the norm.

Cuddles for hire. Yes, you read that correctly. Around this time last year, I was approached by a soon-to-be professional cuddlist. A casual hangout with an acquaintance quickly took an unexpected detour. The topic of the importance of human touch and the wounds from a lack thereof took us…

“Commit random acts of kindness.” I see this bumper sticker plastered on cars around my town. As with other advice to society, I often wonder if this message permeates collective consciousness. It would appear that it does. During a crisis, we often focus on the worst manifestations of human behavior.

I have a complicated relationship with social media. With the profound isolation necessitated by my chronic illness and immunocompromised state, the opportunity to connect with others via technology has become a lifeline over the years. But during the most harrowing of times, following my college graduation, digital technology use…

“Can sleep deprivation kill you?” I’ve spent more time Googling this question than I’d care to admit. Though I’ve learned throughout the years to cautiously validate any information provided by the internet regarding health problems, I frequently toss this desperate inquiry into cyberspace nonetheless. Of course, I want the answer…

I need to start living as though I am a healthy person. Saving my most cherished experiences for the future, for when I am physically nourished and capable, isn’t working for me. Putting life on hold My dreams and expectations for a future overflowing with family, adventure, joy, laughter, and beauty…

Last month, I wrote about how I took the plunge into the world of sharing my perspective through video on social media. Having been socialized to feel shame, embarrassment, and even fear about sharing myself this way because of my disability, I experienced conflicting emotions about the potential ramifications.

The emergency room is not anyone’s idea of a desirable destination. When living with chronic health conditions, it is not merely undesirable, it can be a dangerous place to be. When I consider the potential repercussions of going to the hospital, I often wonder if the effort is worth…

When a family member was recently diagnosed with a potentially hereditary condition, I felt a pang of fear. Given my overwhelming list of daily symptoms and health issues, the threat of another diagnosis loomed. I’ve learned there is no cap on chaos or arbitrary line drawn between a manageable and…