It occurred to me recently that I have been writing this column for more than half a year. My mind has been delving into contemplation about what this opportunity has meant to me so far. As a writer, I’ve spent the last decade cataloging my most intimate battles with chronic illness, disability, and heartbreak. My personal blog and its recent culmination into a book have provided me with a lifeline. Purging toxic emotions, the kind that gnaw at the fiber of my existence, has been a practice I’ve found compulsory for survival.
The personal writing I engaged in for years empowered me to continue to deal with daily challenges that have felt insurmountable. The power of the written word to connect beyond oneself, to extend tentacles of solidarity, has kept me going. The opportunity to become a columnist for BioNews Services has felt like a fresh chapter in the evolution of my writing. The opportunity to connect to an entirely new population is a beautiful privilege that enriches my life.
The challenges I’ve encountered with my health at first made me wary about committing to this column. I wondered if I would be able to rely upon my body to consistently cultivate meaningful content. I wondered if the requirements of using technology, something that has been off limits for me in various degrees, would be beyond my capabilities. I have been pleasantly surprised that my body has facilitated implementing previously daunting routines and incorporating the use of a computer again.
While some might dismiss the idea that the use of a computer is a miracle, for me it truly is. I’ve learned that almost anything can become a sacred privilege when it no longer becomes an option. Every time I sit down to dictate my column to my phone, I marvel at the unfolding of healing that has facilitated me to do so. After emailing the draft to myself, the editing process I engage in on my desktop computer reminds me that I am reaching out to you. I feel almost giddy as I imagine the breadth my words have the opportunity to reach.
Though I have no idea whose eyes might be pondering my thoughts at this very moment, I delight in knowing that you are here. I wonder in what ways my unblemished confessions might resonate with you. It is my sincere hope that by describing with unabashed vulnerability the trauma and at times hilarious misadventures of my life, that we can feel a little more connected.
It often is difficult to share the most intimate details of living with a disability to people I know. I often feel the intense desire to reach out when feeling overwhelmed but I hesitate, afraid I will be rejected. Turning time and time again to the always welcoming space of a blank page to liberate a little bit my circling mind matters. You matter.
The healing benefits of my personal blogging have continued with the birth of “Wiggle Room.” Thank you for being here. I treasure your presence in my world and I thank you for validating my existence. I look forward to the continued opportunity to page together a connective community with this column. Cheers to half a year together, and here’s to unfolding the next uncharted chapters.
Note: Cerebral Palsy News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disorder. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Cerebral Palsy News Today or its parent company, BioNews Services, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to cerebral palsy.
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